“Mr. Brooks, there’s no way that can be true. I think you are lying.”
I’ve been told that more than once, specifically to my claim that longer messages usually work better than short ones in fundraising. It’s one of the most dependable, unimpeachable truths in fundraising. Still, a lot of people just can’t believe it.
Welcome to fundraising. Where nobody believes you.
Maybe this won’t surprise you, but recent research shows that when people repeatedly question and doubt your expertise, it can really mess you up.
It can waste your time and lead to inferior work. Worse yet, it can wear you down, stress you out, undermine your confidence, block your career growth, and damage your reputation. It’s not something to ignore!
And it doesn’t just hurt you. It costs your organization in lost revenue. If we could measure the total impact of people doubting expertise, it likely adds up to billions never raised.
Furthermore, it’s a justice issue we should all care about. Because this doubting happens disproportionately to women, people of color, younger people, and older people. In other words, it is often an instrument of discrimination.
It happens in all professions. But I think it happens especially a lot in fundraising for several related reasons:
- A lot of authorities at nonprofits – bosses and board members, especially – are experts in something other than fundraising. Fundraising is thrown into their portfolio without any requirement for experience or training.
- Fundraising is something “anyone can do” – and a lot of people have done. But in an amateur context, not a professional one. They ran a bake sale at their kids’ school, and it went well. So they think they are experts, unaware that fundraising is actually a profession.
- A lot of fundraising is built on counterintuitive knowledge. What works can seem incorrect, and a gut sense that something is effective or not is very likely to lead you astray.
- Our friend, the Dunning-Kruger affect: the less someone knows about something, the more confident they are that they know it all.
But knowing the reasons doesn’t help that much when your good work and professional reputation are being dismantled by people who don’t know what they’re doing.
Here are some ways to successfully keep your best work going in the face of doubters:
Be patient and listen
Doubt often comes from fear. When someone is questioning your expertise, patiently listen to their doubts. You may be able to discern that what’s driving them is not so much something you’ve done, but a deeper fear they’re wrestling with.
Like, “If you send that multi-page letter, all our donors will turn against us!” Yes, I’ve heard that. A number of times. It’s a genuine fear for some nonprofit leaders.
When you uncover a fear, you might be able to move from a conflict over a proven fundraising technique to an open discussion of the fear. Work together to solve the real problem, not the thing their fear is aiming at.
It’s hard to be patient, especially when someone is demonstrably ignorant about what you’re doing. But it can pay off by promoting more understanding.
Show your sources
You know what you know about fundraising because you learned it somewhere. You read in a book or on a blog. You attended a conference or webinar. You learned directly at previous jobs. Show doubters your knowledge in writing.
They are often surprised to learn there is a body of fundraising knowledge, and some can quickly become more trusting and open. Others need a steady stream of “proof.”
It may help to recommend a book or two. Even if they don’t read it – many will not – you’ve put a stake in the ground that there is outside knowledge for your expertise. In some workplaces, it helps to have a shelf full of fundraising book, demonstrating that the knowledge exists.
Inviting a skeptic along to some online learning can help too. (Members of The Fundraisingology Lab have access to dozens of specific courses and workshops. They can share with coworkers via our new Team Memberships, for 3-100+ members at their organization).
While there are many very helpful fundraising blogs, there are also a few that give terrible fundraising advice – and it can be hard to know which are which. Blogs are great for learning and keeping current, but not so much for showing your sources.
Test it
Testing can stop the doubts. But it’s not a sure-fire winner: The size of your donor base may not allow valid, statistically significant testing. Most organizations are too small to test. The other issue: A determined skeptic will not be persuaded by the most iron-clad test. They will find a reason to call it invalid. If you do decide to test, you may want to get help setting it up for best results. Members of The Fundraisingology Lab can take our in-depth workshop called, “You Should Test It!”
Turn doubt into motivation
Sometimes the doubt of others can encourage you to dig deeper and up your game even further. This doesn’t always work, and there are limits. But look for motivation in the skepticism of others.
Get outside help
Frankly, I don’t like giving this piece of advice, but sometimes it’s necessary. It’s sadly common that bosses who won’t listen to their own people will be quite open to the thoughts of paid outsiders. That’s really terrible. But it can work to save your quality work.
Find an outside expert who really gets it and is willing to boost not just your good work, but you too. They should be sure to say something like, “You’ve got a smart and capable person here; you should feel very good to have her!” If you’re looking for this type of support, book a free call with Sean to discuss how we can help you in this area!
Set boundaries and limits
Even in the best workplaces, you don’t win every battle. Sometimes the best ideas don’t win out. Acknowledge this and think about your limits. That will help you choose your battles – which ones you should fight, and which ones you can be okay with letting go.
Get as mad as hell and don’t take it any more
Okay, suppose you just can’t get through to them. You’ve tried and tried, but they won’t listen to you.
That’s a toxic workplace. You deserve better! Look for a different job.
Don’t do this until you’ve tried everything else. But if it’s necessary, don’t stay in a bad situation that’s just going to pile stress onto your head and keep your from succeeding as you should.
Get more out of your fundraising! For a limited time, this workshop, The Hidden Treasure of Fundraising: 4 Secrets to Connect with Your Donors, Grow Your Income and Master Your Career, is free to join. Find the four secrets that power successful fundraisers. You’ll be surprised how easy – yet impactful – these four secrets are. They can change your life, starting now!
Related Blog Posts:
- 5 Kinds of Fundraising Failure and How to Emerge from Them Victorious
- 4 Ways to Reclaim Your Productivity from Negative Emotions
- How You Can Beat Impostor Syndrome for a More Joyful Career
