I have some bad news for you: Stories are not magic.

Telling a story doesn’t automatically make your fundraising powerful.

You have to tell the right story. In the right way. That’s when the magic happens, and your fundraising goes from okay to great.

I’m going to show you some ways to nudge your storytelling toward donation-inspiring power … and a few things to avoid that can cause an otherwise good story to block donor motivation.

The first thing to know about every fundraising story you ever tell is, What is the story about?

It’s not about how effective your organization’s programs and staff are.

It’s not about how big and important your cause is.

It’s not even about the amazing life struggle and victories of the person in the story.

The story that will motivate donors the most is about the specific and wonderful way the donor can make the world a better place by giving to your organization.

Almost all effective fundraising messages include a story (sometimes more than one) about a person the donor’s giving will help. I’ll call this the secondary story – not because it’s less important, but because it’s an ingredient for THE story we need to tell.

This is often a challenge, because that secondary story about someone we can help is ideally really amazing. We want to make it as powerful as possible. That’s what sometimes causes us to wander away from the real story we should be telling.

Here are some things to keep in mind that will help you tell the right story:

In the secondary story, focus on the need, not the success

Most of the time, the story you’re telling is a completed situation: It includes both the problem and the solution. That’s just how things happen: By the time you get the information, that particular problem is solved (or being solved). The problem with that complete story is it undermines itself.

When you reveal how the problem or challenge was resolved, you tell the donor they aren’t needed anymore! The stronger your story and the more vivid your writing, the more you let the donor “off the hook.”

Think of it this way: Suppose you tell a story about a girl named Sumita who has dreams of going to school but her family can’t afford it. Fortunately, your organization was able to help and Sumita is now in school, doing very well. Nice story. But Sumita no longer needs help. On an emotional level (which is where all the action is), you are very clearly saying, “Your gift isn’t needed right now.”

You should end Sumita’s story before its ending. You should reveal the painful situation, the power education can have for children like her, and the negative consequences of not getting an education …

… and then walk away from the story. Just say “Your gift today will help promising kids like Sumita get the education they need.”

Every fiber in your writer’s soul will be screaming, “I’ve got to finish the story!”

But Sumita’s story is not the story you’re telling in this situation.

The climax and resolution of your “real” story are in the reader’s hands: When they donate. Only then should you tell the rest of Sumita’s story about how school is transforming her, how great she’s doing, how she can see her dreams within reach.

Make sure to keep the secondary story as simple as possible

Remember that the secondary story is there to do one thing: To help the donor feel the problem we’re asking them to help solve. To connect on a human level.

That’s all.

It’s not journalism, which requires us to include all of the five Ws (who, what, where, why, when – and usually how). And it’s not education, preparing the reader to be experts in our cause. That means the secondary story should have:

• As few characters as possible. Ideally, just one person and their struggle, though you may need one or two more — like a parent, child, or teacher of the main person. Every additional named person in the story makes it harder for a reader to process and remember.
• Only one thing going on. In real life, people always have several meaningful things happening at once. Keep your story focused only on the one that supports the action you want the donor to take.
• As little background and context as you can manage. Some is necessary for the story to make sense, but really make sure you aren’t loading up details the reader doesn’t need to believe the story and care about it.

Life is complicated, but our stories shouldn’t be!

Bring the donor into both stories

This is where you turn to the magic fundraising word YOU.

The primary story is about what the donor can do by donating. That means you repeatedly directly address them about them, their situation, and their values:

• Recognize the donor’s situation. Like “I know you’re busy,” “I know you get a lot of requests like this.”
• Tell the donor what to expect when they give. Donors already know giving feels good, but it’s great to remind them how they’ll feel. Also, tell them what you’ll do when they give, like you’ll send them in-depth reports (that is, newsletters) about how much difference they’re making.
• Deal with the donor’s potential objections to giving. You know what the common objections are: My donation won’t have much impact. My donation will go to waste. Answer these things!
• Compliment the donor. Let the donor know you value them – not just for what they do, but for who they are. The power of this is uncanny!
• Narrate the donor’s action. Walk them through the steps of donating: “Grab your checkbook and pen, decide what you can give, and send it in the enclosed envelope.” Yes, the donor already knows what to do, but when you put it in writing, you help make it more “real.”

You can also bring the donor into the secondary story as well:

Here’s an example of part of a secondary story:

Before Sumita can even think about going to school every morning, she has to fetch the water. That’s a three-mile walk each way. It takes about an hour. But Sumita knows her mother needs the help. So she’s late for school most days, and you can see how that interferes with her education.

There’s nothing wrong with that, but look how much more interesting it is for the reader when you pull them in:

I wish you could meet Sumita. She has such an amazing attitude. I don’t know how she keeps it up, having seen what she goes through day after day. She works hard in school, but before she goes every morning, she has to fetch the water. That’s a three-mile walk each way. It takes about an hour. That makes her late for school most days, and you can see how that interferes with her education.

When you do these things, stories approach magic in their power to move donors to give.

Even in the digital age, we’re telling stories. That’s why you’ll love our all-new and completely FREE online webinar, 3 Email Fundraising Mistakes That Cost You Tons of Donations. Featuring digital Fundraisingologist James Herlihy, this jam-packed session will help you leap forward in your online fundraising mastery. You’ll also get a special bonus: “Your Ready-Made Donor Communications Calendar.” It will guide you what to send, when, and how often in email, mail and phone!  More information here.

Related Blog Posts:

• Are You Fundraising in the Right “World”? It Makes All the Difference!
• Fundraiser Asks: How Do I Tell Compelling Stories When Our Cause Has No “Happy Endings”?
• Why It’s So Hard to Tell Stories – and How to Make It Easier